I don't really feel qualified to tell anyone how to raise their children but I do feel qualified to recommend measures you can take in order to stand up for your children when the need arises. I'm going to use my first few posts as an opportunity to share some of my personal experiences with you, as well as the actions I took to help my children when it seemed like no one else would.
Back in 2010 I found myself struggling to help Ashley who would immediately come home from school, lock herself in her room and seemed to have lost even the slightest bit of joy in her life. While she was in 5th grade we found ourselves battling a number of issues but one in particular that we couldn't even wrap our minds around was online impersonation. Through a course of events, it was discovered that a classmate was impersonating Ashley on Facebook. She wasn't even allowed to have an account yet, and here we were looking at a page that included her photo, full name, birth date, school, hometown and had absolutely NO security settings. We sat as a family on our couch one evening and literally watched someone post as they pretended to be Ashley as she sat right beside us. Aside from the sense of violation that Ashley felt, her dad and I immediately recognized the danger this put her in with any pedophile looking for an easy target. They knew what she looked like, where to find her and what to call her. We figured out pretty easily who was responsible but couldn't get anyone to work with us in taking the page down. The student was denying it, her parents didn't speak English (so contacting them wasn't going to get us anywhere) and the school said that it wasn't their problem because it wasn't occurring in school...despite the fact that the photos being posted were being taken at school, classmates and teachers were being sent friend requests and this student had no involvement with Ashley outside of school. I will always feel very strongly that this was most definitely a school issue, as well as a family issue. If parents aren't monitoring their children's online behavior and those students are targeting and harming other students, I believe that it is everyone's responsibility to take measures to protect the children being harmed. When we initially contacted the police to ask for assistance, we were told that because there was no financial gain to be made that it wasn't a true identity theft and there wasn't anything they could do. We began to feel helpless until we were fortunate enough to have a school presentation put on at the school from the local DA's office. At the end of the evening program on internet safety, I went up to the presenters (local law enforcement officers) and pleaded for their help. They immediately put us in touch with an officer who could help and within days the student responsible was contacted directly and the fake Facebook page was taken down. While Ashley received what I consider an obligatory apology, that student never faced any real consequences, our family never received a full apology for what we were put through and the student would never answer one simple question for us...why?
We will forever be grateful to the Jeffco DA's Cheezo program and the important work that they do throughout Colorado in teaching internet safety measures to students and families. The lesson I learned personally was not to give up. Was I content to be told that there was nothing law enforcement or school officials could do to help us? Absolutely not! Did I continue to pursue other measures and ask for assistance? You bet! Did it pay off? Of course. When Mama Bear is on a mission, she will ALWAYS get results.
The silver lining to all of this was that Ashley learned the importance of online safety before she was even allowed to utilize social media. Years later, we find ourselves advocating within the media on a regular basis for students to practice internet safety and for parents to take an active role in monitoring their children's online behavior. However, that's another topic for another time since I have plenty to say on the subject!
Interested in bringing Cheezo to your children's school? You can find more info at: http://www.cheezo.org
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